So we spend a lot of time with lots of messaging back and forth. Actually almost a month of this. He has been fairly non committal on meeting again over the course of the last several weeks. At one point we talked about meeting but then it wasn’t clear if this was confirmed.

So I made backup plans for the evening

On the day of, he messages and asks if we are still on for the evening.

Sure ok.

So i suggest hayes valley and he names a restaurant. I look it up and it actually is in lower haight but is accessible from the bus so I am cool and we actually agree on a time.

I get there early by a dozen minutes – so what else is new

It’s cold outside, so I go in and I take a table, order a drink. I am feeling so laid back and blasé about this dating thing now after a couple of months. I am not nervous. He is so casual, and I have met so many great guys, I actually don’t care if this one goes anywhere.

I text to let him know I am there with a table

He texts back he is parking

A few minutes later he arrives

That silver hair…mmmm

We hug hello and he orders a drink. We spend a few minutes getting reacquainted – its been over 2 months since we met so everything is a bit fuzzy. Eventually we order some food and then second drink.

We talk about parties, about partying, about travel, about drug use – it’s light, it’s like college conversation. 

After we eat, he offers me a ride home and I accept. As we are leaving and talking he lets it out that he doesn’t like scheduling things or planning which totally explains the half assed way he has communicated with me about setting up a second date.

At my house he stops the car in the middle of the street – doesn’t pull over – or make any effort to ending the date. We kiss a bit goodbye and then both say lets meet again and he gives me permission to give him shit about planning and his communication style.

I mention kayaking again and he says what about sunday but I want my weekend so I say no and we leave it for a later time.

He seems fun but not passionate like some of the other people I am seeing and not super intellectual. Not deep or meaningful conversations. I could deal with that if there was sex and good sex but there hasn’t been anything down that road either. I think this is a dead end.

I think my first impression is right, he is a party boy who has never grown up and is just skating through life